A Theory of the World as run by large adult children

I have been thinking a lot lately about these two fellows.

If you are not lucky enough to know them already, those are Harold and George
from theCaptain Underpantsseries of books (among others).

Two supposedly
prototypical boys whose wonderful imaginations are in the process of being
destroyed by educators who do not recognize their gifts.

Whether they will go
on to form aquality death metal bandis left to the reader’s imagination.

I first noticed their hand when I made a classic Tom mistake and tried to watch
two movies back-to-back.

I finished the very goodOne Battle After Another,
took a breath and startedPredator: Badlands.

I only lasted through most of
the first scene because it was so clearly their work.

So I tapped out.

Maybe it turns good.

The reviews I’d read suggested it does and
I should go back, fast-forward past that and try it again.

Regardless, having
realized Harold&George are now responsible for a significant portion of our
media, I’ve started to see their hand elsewhere.

And if this war in Iran is not
the work of a bunch of boys who never turned ten, I will be goddamned.

You almost
have to tip your cap to the amount of imagination these people have for doing bad
things.

Thenew silver dollar no longer has an olive branch.

The Department of Defense, so named because everyone has a right to defend themselves,
is now the Department of War, so named because why?

I’ve been thinking about how they’re going to leave us asUScitizens holding the
bag for a lot of crap up to, and including, ruining a World Cup.

Which led me to
thinking about the IoC andFIFAand how pretty much every country’s Football
Association, regardless of the quality of government in the country at large, is
completely corrupt.

I knew theUShad arrived on the world football stage when ourownFAwas blown up by the Attorney General.

One of the people convicted was an unlikable70 year old boywho lived in a kid’s idea of a cool apartment, a tasteless, gaudy expensiveNYCapartmentandthe one next door to it, specifically for his cats.

You will never
guess whose tasteless, gaudy expensiveNYCapartment building it was.

Anyway, here’s hoping Captain Underpants hears whatever sound it is soon.