Lorraine Kelly tells of anxiety and ‘dark time’ after birth of daughter

TV presenter Lorraine Kelly has spoken about suffering anxiety and experiencing a “dark time” after the birth of her daughter.

The Glasgow-born broadcaster, 66, said she struggled because she was working as a freelancer and her contract was not renewed while she was on maternity leave.

Speaking to Pete Wicks on his Man Made podcast, Kelly recounted going through a “really bad time” after having daughter Rosie, her only child with husband Steve Smith , in 1994.

Kelly, who was a freelance breakfast television presenter for GMTV at the time, said: “I don’t take anything for granted.

I certainly don’t, because after I had my daughter that was a really bad time.

“Just after having a baby you’re all over the place, and I got sacked, or didn’t get my contract renewed – virtually the same thing – and that was a very dark time.

“That was a really, really dark time because everything’s just taken away from you and you’re like, ‘What the hell am I going to do?'”
The award-winning presenter, known for her daytime TV programme, said she “basically lived from contract to contract”, and said: “You might get a year’s contract, or you might get two years if you’re lucky.

“It would have actually been really nice if someone had told me: in 40 years you’re going to still be doing it.”
Kelly continued: “Every time that contract was up, you’d get the washing machine stomach, you’d get the dredge, you’d get the fear, you’d get all the worry.

“Especially after I’d had my daughter and you’re worrying about just existing.

“That was always a worry.

You could never quite relax or take things for granted – which I never do.

“You’re scared that it’s all going to end tomorrow, and you never lose that fear, because you think that you’re not good enough.”
Reality TV star Wicks asked Kelly if her anxiety impacted her, and she said: “Absolutely.

At three o’clock I was waking up in the morning with, like, an elephant on my chest.

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“You know, that feeling of ‘oh my God’ and being overwhelmed, but I soldiered on.”
The TV presenter said she often feels as though people question why she has anxiety, adding: “They say, ‘You’ve got a lovely husband, you’ve got a beautiful house, you’ve got a great daughter, you’ve got an amazing job… why have you got anxiety?

What are you anxious about?’
“I think those feelings that I had, I never really dealt with properly, to be honest.”
Kelly said she still worries about the future, but the birth of her granddaughter Billie has changed her outlook and made her appreciate the present.

She said: “This baby has taught me so much, because now I can appreciate so much more.

“All the things I wanted to do with my own daughter Rosie when she was little, I couldn’t really, as I was working so hard.”
Kelly began her journalism career on the East Kilbride News, turning down a university place to study English and Russian, before joining BBC Scotland as a researcher in 1983.

She later joined TV-am as an on-screen reporter covering Scottish news and in 1990 she began her presenting career on Good Morning Britain, before being given her own show.