‘No one has it right’: Janhvi Kapoor suggests we are often ‘too hard on our parents’

The premature loss of a parent often serves as a profound catalyst for re-evaluating the temporal nature of familial bonds.

For Janhvi Kapoor, the passing of her mother, the legendary actor Sridevi, occurred on the cusp of her cinematic debut—a timing that amplified the complexities of public and private mourning.

In the years that followed, Janhvi has spoken about how the grieving process allowed her to deconstruct the maternal archetype, humanising her mother as an individual, independent of both her professional stardom and her parental role.

Speaking on Ranveer Allahabadia’s podcast, theDhadakactor explored the psychological necessity of parental forgiveness, framing it as an essential step toward personal resolution and emotional maturity.

“I think we are too hard on our parents.

Everyone’s f**ked up because of their parents; no one has it right.

But they are also messed up because of their parents.

No one has followed a handbook, so you need to forgive yourself and forgive them.

Just give them love and be there,” she told the podcaster.

Reacting to the sentiment, Dr Anitha Chandra, Consultant – Psychiatry, Aster CMI Hospital,Bangalore, explained that adult children often hold grudges against their parents because childhood experiences shape how safe, loved, and valued they feel, and unresolved hurt can stay for many years.

“If they felt ignored, criticised, compared, controlled, or emotionally unsupported while growing up, those memories can turn into resentment in adulthood.

Sometimes parents may not have intended harm, but the emotional impact on the child was real,” she said.

When apologies, open conversations, or validation never happened, the pain can remain unhealed.

As adults, they may better understand what was missing in their upbringing, which can bring anger or disappointment to the surface.

A post shared by World, Cinema & Life (WCL™) (@worldcinemalife)
Healing usually begins when both sides are willing to listen, take responsibility, and communicate honestly.

According to Dr Chandra, unresolved resentment can quietly affect a person’s mental health by increasing stress, anxiety, anger, and even symptoms of depression over time.

“When someone keeps replaying past hurts, it can drain emotional energy and make it hard to feel peace or trust.

In family relationships, resentment can create distance, frequent arguments, passive-aggressive behaviour, or complete emotional withdrawal,” she explained.

TakingKapoor’sadvice, viewing parents with empathy and emotional maturity is important because it helps adult children understand that parents are human beings with their own struggles, fears, and limitations.

“Many parents raised their children while dealing with financial stress, personal trauma, lack of emotional education, or social pressure, and they may have done the best they could with what they knew at the time.

Seeing this does not mean ignoring hurtful behaviour, but it allows space for balanced understanding instead of only blame,” said Dr Chandra.

In fact, emotional maturity helps people respond calmly, set healthy boundaries, and communicate clearly.

This mindset can reduce resentment, improve family relationships, and support personal healing and inner peace.

To communicate better, Dr Chandra suggested starting by choosing the right time to talk when everyone is calm and not distracted.

“Speak clearly and honestly using simple ‘I feel’ statements instead ofblamingor accusing words.

Practice active listening by letting the other person finish speaking and repeating back what you understood,” she said.

To set healthy boundaries, explain your limits kindly but firmly, and be consistent in maintaining them.

“Avoid shouting, sarcasm, or bringing up old mistakes during new discussions.

If emotions rise, take a short break and return to the conversation later.”
Showing appreciation, even in small ways, can rebuild warmth and trust.

If needed, family counselling can also support a healthier understanding.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.