Darren Whitley ran the TCS London Marathon with his partner four years ago but, after her death at the age of 35, he will run this year while fundraising for the charity which supported them in her final days.
Family and friends visited to say a final goodbye and Marie Curie nurse Michelle stayed by Ms Roberts’ bed, caring for her, talking to her and being an “incredibly calming influence”, Mr Whitley told the Press Association.
He said he knew they were “in good hands”, adding: “It was like, for that period of time, like having an incredibly good friend there, a selfless friend as well.”
He said Ms Roberts, who died on April 13 2024, was “the most incredible person I’ve ever met”.
They had mutual friends and chatted on Facebook before meeting in person in 2017 and starting a relationship, moving in together after about six months.
Ms Roberts, from Dudley, was an optical assistant with Vision Express and he said: “She was incredibly hard-working but, when it came to life, she utilised that to the full, whether it was a weekend she had off, the holidays we went on.”
Less than a year after they got together, 29-year-old Ms Roberts found a lump in her breast, went for a mammogram and was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer.
She had about five months of chemotherapy, a mastectomy, reconstruction and a course of radiotherapy.
They had to cancel a birthday trip to Rome so instead got Calvin, a cavapoo.
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Ms Roberts used the experience “to reshape herself, throw herself into life”, Mr Whitley said and in December 2018, she was given the all-clear.
The couple celebrated with a holiday to Thailand and, in 2019, Mr Whitley ran the London Marathon for the Institute of Cancer Research.
Holidays to the US, Paris and Mexico followed and, in 2022, Ms Roberts ran the London Marathon for the charity Breast Cancer Care.
Mr Whitley caught up with her after seven miles so they could run the remainder of the 26.2 mile course together.
“Because she’d seen me do it, she wanted to do it to tick it off, a bit of a bucket list to say ‘look I’ve done this’ and almost as a bit of an inspiration to others,” he said.
He added: “At that point she had made a recovery, everything was behind her.
“Confirmation that you’ve run a marathon was almost closure on that previous journey.”
But devastating news faced them in September the following year when, during a trip to Dublin, Ms Roberts had a bad cough which would not go away.
She was treated for fluid on the lungs before tests showed it was secondary breast cancer and had spread to her lungs and liver.
Mr Whitley said it felt as though they were “back to day one”, just when they had believed that chapter of their lives was over.
Ms Roberts was told she was stage four and the cancer was terminal although she could potentially have years left to live.
But after several more rounds of chemotherapy, doctors said there was nothing more they could do.
They spent Christmas together and went to Disneyland Paris in early 2024 where Mr Whitley said she managed three full days on her feet.
“She’s always been the biggest kid at heart,” he said.
“Up until the end, it was all about living her life.”
Soon afterwards, Ms Roberts’ health went downhill.
She became confused and was no longer independent.
Doctors told them the cancer had spread to her brain.
“I cannot speak highly enough of Marie Curie,” he said.
“It’s incredible what they do.
“You’ve got that incredibly calming influence as well.
“A Marie Curie nurse has got the knowledge and the bedside manner as well.
“They were able to know what to check when, know where things were, know if she was OK or not, talk to her.
“It gave us a couple of hours sleep, knowing she was in good hands.”
He slept on the sofa while Michelle was at Ms Roberts’ bedside and he said: “She never moved from there.
Her sole priority was Jess.”
The next day Ms Roberts was seen by community nurses and she died at 4.10pm with Calvin next to her.
A photo of her will be on Darren’s top when he runs the TCS London Marathon on Sunday April 26 while raising money to help Marie Curie support others like Ms Roberts and their families.
A donation of £23 can help to pay for an hour of vital nursing care for someone living with a terminal illness.
Mr Whitley, who works in banking, also wants to encourage other people to approach Marie Curie if they find themselves in a similar situation.
“It’s not an admittance that you can’t do it.
It’s purely there to help you and support you.”
It will be his sixth marathon and fourth time running London.
He has also run marathons in Stratford and Birmingham.
His first marathon since losing Ms Roberts will be full of memories of when they ran together in 2022.
“This will actually be the first one that she won’t have been at.
She’s been at all of the London ones previously,” he said.
“She always brought the best out of me.”
– Marie Curie is the charity of the year for the 2026 TCS London Marathon.
To sponsor Darren, visit: https://2026tcslondonmarathon.enthuse.com/pf/darren-whitley .
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Source: This article was originally published by Evening Standard
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