Why should I continue to pay full child maintenance for a kid I barely see?

There are an estimated 790,000 UK parents expected to pay maintenance for their children through the government’s statutory service.

However, figures from September 2025 show a quarter put in less than 90% of their total amount, while the same percentage paid nothing at all.

In this week’s Money Problem, 45-year-old Mark from Wigan has been covering his daughter’s expenses since divorcing his ex and moved away to get remarried.

Now she’s a teenager and he has two young children to provide for, so he reached out to Metro consumer champion Sarah Davidson to find out if he’s still obligated to pay full maintenance.

The problem…

I have a daughter from my first marriage, she’s now 14, and two boys with my current wife.

When I remarried, I moved to Wigan but my ex and our daughter still live in Alnwick and I rarely see them.

I earn around £80,000 and neither my ex or my wife works.

I’m paying child support for my daughter but I think I shouldn’t be paying as big a percentage as I currently am.

Why should I still pay this much every month for a daughter I barely see and a woman I don’t love anymore?

She’s 14 now, it’s not like it was when she needed constant care – she can look after herself so why doesn’t her mother get a job and stop relying on me?

The answer…

Your attitude towards your financial responsibilities for your daughter is, frankly, distressing.

You are asking why you should pay for a child you ‘barely see’ and a woman you ‘don’t love anymore’.

Let’s get one thing absolutely clear: child maintenance is not spousal support.

It is not a subscription fee for access to your child, nor is it a tax on a failed marriage.

It is a legal and moral obligation to provide for the child you brought into the world, regardless of your feelings towards her mother or how often you choose to visit Alnwick.

POLL

What do you think about Mark's situation regarding child maintenance payments?

• He should pay the full amount for his daughter.

• He should pay less because he has other children to support.

• Child maintenance needs reforms, but he should pay as required.

• It's a complex issue and depends on individual circumstances.

If anything, teenagers are significantly more expensive than toddlers.

They eat more, their clothes cost more and they have social lives, school trips and hobbies.

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She cannot ‘look after herself’ financially and the law recognises this.

You are legally required to pay child maintenance until she turns 16, or until she is 20 if she remains in full-time education studying for A-levels or equivalent.

Let’s look at the numbers, because you seem to think you are paying an unfairly large percentage of your £80,000 salary.

If you cannot agree on an amount privately (a family-based arrangement), the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) will calculate it for you using a very strict formula based on your gross weekly income.

For a high earner like yourself, making £80,000 a year (roughly £1,538 a week gross), you fall into the ‘basic rate’ bracket.

The standard CMS calculation for one child is 12% of your gross weekly income.

However, the CMS formula also takes into account the children living in your current household.If you are paying for one child but have two other children in your household, the CMS reduces your assessable gross income by 14% before calculating the 12% for your daughter.

On £80,000 a year, your assessable income is reduced by 14% for your two boys, to £68,800.

The CMS then takes 12% of that remaining amount for your daughter.

That works out to roughly £8,256 a year, or about £688 a month. If you are paying around this amount, you are paying exactly what the law expects you to pay.

It is not an arbitrary figure and it is certainly not unfair.

You mention that you ‘rarely see’ your daughter.

If she stays overnight with you, the CMS calculation can be reduced.

For example, if she stays with you between 52 and 103 nights a year, your payments would be reduced by one seventh.

If you are choosing not to see her, you do not get a discount on your financial obligations.

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As for your ex-wife getting a job, that is entirely her business.

The CMS calculation is based solely on your income as the paying parent.

Whether she works or not, or how much she earns, does not change your legal requirement to pay 12% of your assessable income towards your daughter’s upbringing.

You earn a very good salary, Mark.

You have chosen to start a new family and move to Wigan, which is your right.

But those choices do not erase the child you had first.

My advice to you is to stop viewing this money as something you are giving to your ex-wife and start viewing it as what it actually is – your contribution to ensuring your 14-year-old daughter has a secure and comfortable life.

Stop with the frighteningly selfish self-pity, step up and pay what you owe without the resentment.

She is your daughter, and she deserves better than to be viewed as an irritating expense.

Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.